Hugs and kisses are food for the soul, especially in the early years of life. Cuddles that soothe and make you laugh, hugs that comfort and kisses that fill the heart should not be missing in children's daily lives.
Kissing is not only a universal expression of affection, but it also promotes emotional connection. However, as children grow older, it is common to physically distance themselves, especially when the rush, stress or laziness of routine absorbs parental attention. So it's easy to forget goodnight kisses or just a hasty kiss.
The magic of kisses in child development
Giving a kiss may seem like such a simple gesture that it's easy to forget its huge emotional significance and all the benefits it brings. In fact, kisses have enormous “healing” power. Transmitting security and love, they can soothe the pain of a fall and the crying of children. They are a lifesaver when things go wrong and frustration or sadness appear.
The beneficial effect of kisses is linked to the changes they produce in the brain. Kissing has been shown to release a cocktail of chemicals, such as oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, which activate the pleasure centers. As a result, they lower cortisol levels and reduce pain and emotional distress.
Physical affection, expressed through hugs and kisses, also contributes to the emotional stability of the little ones. A study conducted at the Brown University revealed that children who received more physical affection from their parents in the form of hugs and kisses were more likely to grow into emotionally stable adults. They also showed less anxiety, more energy, felt more confident, and were kinder to others.
The power of hugs and kisses is not limited to the emotional sphere. Research conducted with orphaned children in Romania in the 90s showed that those who received the least affection from their adoptive parents had stunted physical growth and emotional development. Thus, physical expressions of affection also promote childhood growth.
Undoubtedly, parental kisses become an oasis of calm, providing the essential protection and trust that children need to recover. Through kisses, parents express their support and understanding, strengthening the emotional bond with their children, to remind them that they will be by their side when they need it most.
A beneficial night ritual: why shouldn't you end the day without kissing your children?
As parents, it is extremely important to dedicate a moment of emotional connection to our children in which kisses, hugs and cuddles are not lacking, especially before going to bed. A kiss, given fully present, is a wonderful way to show children how much we love them. For this reason they should never be lacking, not even when they get older and that feeling of no longer being needed as before arises.
For children, falling asleep with the memory of the kiss, that caress on the face and the "I love you" from mom and dad is extremely beneficial. Not only is it a pleasant time that will help them relax, but these displays of affection will also make them feel loved, important, and valued.
Goodnight kisses, in fact, have a deep symbolic meaning. They are a reaffirmation of the bond between father and son. They're also a mission statement because they emphasize that no matter what kind of day we've had, that kiss seals the commitment to our love and support for each other.
Goodnight kisses remind your child that they are special to you and that your love is unconditional. They also carry with them the promise that tomorrow will be a new day with new beginnings and a promise of hope for the future.
Furthermore, that goodnight kiss is not only beneficial for children, but its power extends to parents as well. That moment of connection and love, lived in the name of calm, involvement and awareness, will help them recharge their batteries and free themselves from the stress of the day, turning their gaze towards what really matters.
That intimate moment of love and connection will be replicated later in life. Children will always carry it in their memory and it is probable that they will later repeat it with their own children, closing a virtuous circle of love. In short, there is no better way for children and parents than to greet the day with a kiss, go to sleep with a heart full of love after spending those magical moments on the edge of the bed.
Sources:
Maselko, J. et. Al. (2011) Mother's affection at 8 months predicts emotional distress in adulthood. J Epidemiol Community Health; 65 (7): 621-625.
Carter, CS (1998) Neuroendocrine perspectives on social attachment and love. Psychoneuroendocrinology; 23 (8): 779-818.
Chisholm, K. (1998) A Three Year Follow-Up of Attachment and Indiscriminate Friendliness in Children Adopted from Romanian Orphanages. Child Development; 69 (4): 1092-1106.
Admission End the day with love, the power of goodnight kisses to kids was published first in Corner of Psychology.
