We often think of home and intimate relationships as safe havens in which to find refuge from the evil of the outside world. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. For some of us, home is not a safe place and violence is not always marked by bruises but also by behaviors that undermine our self-esteem.
Dr. Tania Sotero, psychologist and psychotherapist specializing in gender violence he explains how to recognize the various types of violence starting from the psychological one.
Self-esteem at an all-time low
In a healthy relationship, it is rare to feel devalued by your partner and, when it happens, it often results from a misunderstanding that is resolved with communication and affection.
But when the feeling of inadequacy is frequent or even permanent, perhaps because of unkind comments about your physical appearance or because of the devaluations of your career or your skills in general, you realize that there is something that your partner has said and that it makes you sick but you can't quite understand what it is.
You feel tired, confused, alone and you begin to doubt yourself, to feel less beautiful and feel bad for no apparent reason.
Suddenly you no longer love yourself as before and your attention is focused on the person next to you, you concentrate all your energy in trying to impress her, to make yourself appreciated but without success. And this wears you out.
Psychological violence: the "invisible" evil
Unlike physical violence, which immediately shows its signs, psychological violence has a slow and corrosive action. From the unmotivated jealousy of the partner to the barbs that imperceptibly knock you down from day to day.
It is a relatively invisible violence because, it is true that those who suffer it tend to notice it after a while, but those who are close to you and really love you realize it much earlier than you.
If you feel that something in your relationship is making you sick or if you believe that your friend is particularly sad, confused and isolating herself more and more often, you probably have / have to do with a toxic presence in your / her life. Remember that you are never alone and that in addition to friends and family there are experts who are always ready to help you. Call 1522 or search for the anti-violence center near you. There will always be someone who will reach out to you.
Tania Sotero is a psychologist and psychotherapist who works for the CAV SAVE of Trani (BAT).
You can find it on Linkedin.
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