According to internet user research statistics, candaulism is becoming more and more prevalent among both heterosexual couples than among those Homosexuals. This sexual practice consists of watching your partner have a relationship with someone else. By doing so, it shows itself completely naked and in intimacy with a person other than your usual partner. But what is really behind this sexual practice? Who are the candaulists?
Enjoy watching your partner having sex… with another person
Il candaulism it is a sexual practice that consists of feel pleasure and you see your partner - or your partner - having sex with a third person. In fact, candaulism is very much related to the arousal that this vision provides. In essence, candaulism can be more moderate and just be the fruit of desire that arises when someone sets their sights on their spouse.
Quite often, it is the man who is most prone to this sexual behavior, as he is anxious to see his beloved admired by others or when he has a relationship with another man.
Candaulism has a historical origin that goes back to8th century BC. It all starts with Candaules, a king of Lydia, who found his wife so beautiful he wanted share its charm with other men inviting them to watch. Then he asked his guard, Gyges, to secretly observe the queen in her chambers, during even his most titled moments. The woman, however, noticed this and, humiliated by the order given by her husband, asked Gyges to kill him so that he could take his place on Lydia's throne.
This story explains the very definition of this practice: one of the couple's partners he enjoys making a stranger admire the other. It then evolved into the enthusiasm of seeing one's woman or one's man having a physical relationship with a third person.
Indeed, there are different ways to practice candaulism:
- The woman has sex with her lover in front of the spouse;
- The man it may be absent during extramarital affairs and simply feel arousal when his wife tells him of his love or show him photos and videos;
- In extreme forms of candaulism, the woman and her lover can have a dominant position with respect to man. It is called triolagnia or cuckoldinga sadomasochistic practice which consists inhumiliate the person with painful words or practices. This practice is carried out with the consent of the dominated person, with the sole purpose of satisfying his pleasure.
In some cases, the man can participate in the sexual relations that his wife has with another. This is very rare, as it is more like the swinging or the willingness to have sex with more people, such as the three-way relationship.
Candaulist: what is the difference with the voyeurist, the exhibitionist or the swinger?
Il voyeurism is a practice in which a person, the voyeur, observe people without their knowledge. It is the opposite extreme of candaulism, because it is about being excited to see your partner having sex, with your consent.
THEexhibitionism is the act of show your genitals in public e it does not involve the partner in any way. Furthermore, this practice is prohibited as an exhibitionist risks one year of imprisonment e a fine of 15.000 euros. In candaulism there is no mention of a public place and, above all, the fantasy is based on seeing one's partner with another and not just showing up.
Lo swinging o swinging it is a practice that involves both partners of the couple, as they both decide to make love with two other people already romantically united. In this practice, the excitement of seeing your partner having sex with another man can be a factor. In Candaulism, pleasure is not necessarily related to the sexual act, since theat sight only of another person who admires and appreciates their partner may be enough to increase sexual desire.
What leads to this sexual practice?
If this sexual practice does not harms the couple, being a candaulist is not neither pathological nor an indication of a problem between the two partners.
In reality, it hides the need to strengthen one's ego, for two reasons:
- Or man has one lack of self-confidence and the fact of showing his partner in the eyes of others, of seeing them envious and wanting his partner it gives him a feeling of power which will help him stimulate hers sexual desire and to please him.
- O he is unable to satisfy his partner and allowing her to make love to another person is a way for her to feel pleasure and enjoyment, in front of her eyes. It would thus be a form of sexual satisfaction.
In any case, choose to practice candaulism it is a decision that must be common in the couple, especially to preserve it.
Can candaulism destroy a couple relationship?
Any sexual practice outside the "norm" (which consists ofhaving sexual intercourse only with one's partner or girlfriend, or the so-called sexual exclusivity) can represent the risk of endangering one's life as a couple.
First, you need to have good dialogue between partners to be able to speak openly about desires, fears and any other disturbances to the other before making the decision to engage in a particular sexual practice.
If the man or woman is aware and accepts the sexual deviance desired by his partner, candaulism can be a way to explore new sexual practices aimed at increasing sexual desire and pleasure in the couple. The main risk is that one partner may eventually only want to have sex by practicing candaulism. As a form of addiction.
For the balance of the couple it is even better that candaulism is not an end in itself. A two-way sex life must exist outside of this practice.
If, for example, the woman has an orgasm only with the other man she makes love with, even if the "official" spouse is initially happy and excited to see her feel pleasure, this can in the long run influence it and eventually the couple relationship could suffer.
In fact, when candaulism doesn't stop at just being seen having sex with another person, it gets to the point of having sex with another, there is also the risk that some kind of jealousy may arise.
Finally, both members of the couple must have a real desire to commit, without pressure or blackmail on either of them. The partner must be willing to practice this form of sexuality.
