There is a friendly fear, which helps us perform better, and one enemy, which paralyzes us and makes us make bad decisions.
Turning her from an enemy into a friend is not child's play and an online article may not be the magic wand you may be looking for, but I want to share some practical thoughts with you.
Are you ready? Street.
1. The fear line
The exercise consists of draw a line and put Zero on one side and 100 on the other.
Great. Under the heading 100 write your greatest fear. If it were to happen it would truly be a terrible disaster. For example: the loss of all the members of my family and my job at the same time. This would be a huge catastrophe for me.
Now think about the thing that worries you and place it in this numbered scale.
That is, with respect to your fear 100, how do you position what is bothering you? For example that this customer is not paying you? Or that you had a fight with your wife and need to find a way to recover the relationship? Or that you don't understand how to use e-invoicing software and customer service is making you wait days to give you the answer you are looking for?
As a rule, this exercise helps us to give due weight to what worries us. It is not about taking care to downplay your pain or emotion, but about looking at it within a more detailed panorama. That is, it serves to relativize it, to place it in the right place, to acquire greater serenity and therefore to be able to roll up our sleeves to deal with that particular problem.
2. Calculate the impact of the problem
Another interesting exercise is that of calculate the impact of the situation that is bothering you.
I suggest the game of 5, or ask yourself: how long will this thing worry me? For 5 days? For 5 months? Or for 5 years? Or better still, in 5 days what impact will this thing have on me and my life? And in 5 months? And in 5 years?
The rationale of this exercise is - here too - to contextualize what is happening to you today on a future line. Keep in mind that we tend to overestimate the impact of some concerns, and putting it on a time perspective helps us to be a bit more objective about how much to worry about the situation and understand if the problem is real or not.
3. 80-20
The third idea is to counteract the usual tendency whereby you make 100 of your attention, you spread 80 on brooding and thinking about the problem, and 20 on possible solutions.
The optimal distribution is the opposite: 20% to experience the problem, which should not be denied but faced and accepted, but thePresent in several = 80% it must instead be projected towards turning the page, towards resolve the situation, towards acquiring skills that we obviously do not have to date, in order to better understand what happens to us and therefore increase our knowledge. Ergo: study, read, reflect, discuss, experiment.
Dear friends, caring is better than worrying.
Let's try to divide the worry into small steps, let's focus one step at a time on the next puzzle to be solved and - with these 3 exercises that I have illustrated - give it the right weight it deserves.
To buy my book "Factor 1%" click here: https://amzn.to/2SFYgvz
If you want to start a personal care path, contact the Luca Mazzucchelli psychology center, for live consultations or via Skype: https://www.psicologo-milano.it/contatta-psicologo/
Article Dealing with fear: why caring is more useful than worrying seems to be the first of Milan psychologist.
